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Jessica Simpson in Jezebel Magazine

November 9th, 2006

Jessica Simpson has a super-tanned and sexy spread in the December issue of Jezebel magazine. I’ve never heard of said magazine, but I do read my Bible three or four times a day, so I know that Jezebel was the wicked Israelite queen who fell out of her tower and got gobbled up by dogs. So I’m not entirely sure why Jessica’s showing up in a magazine with that moniker. Do pop stars with failed albums and floundering movie careers do a pictorial in this magazine before they “go to the dogs,” so to speak? Has Jessica recently fallen out of a tower window? Is she an idolotrous whore facilitating the decay of modern-day Israel? Nobody knows for sure. The one thing I do know is that Jessica Simpson finally looks sexy again, so I can go back to masturbating to sexy pictures of her instead of hitting up the Bible four times a day. It never quite filled the void, you know.

Enjoy the rest of the pics from the spread after the jump.

Original post by abby
This post has been republished for personal use

Entry Filed under: celebrities